March 24, 2025
Better things don’t come from doing more — they come from doing what truly matters. Yet most of us feel stuck in a constant cycle of multitasking, rushing from one task to another, thinking it makes us more productive. But research from the American Psychological Association shows the opposite: multitasking actually reduces productivity.
In a world that pushes us to be faster, busier, and always available, it’s no wonder we feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Ironically, this busyness often slows us down instead of helping us move forward.
The truth is, only a small portion of your effort leads to real results — the 80/20 rule proves that. That’s why learning to focus on what matters most isn’t just nice, it’s necessary.
There is a way out. By embracing minimalist principles and making more intentional decisions, you can let go of the noise and start creating space for better things — in both your work and your life.
The Hidden Cost of Constant Busyness
A troubling reality hides behind your packed schedule – being busy takes a heavy toll on your well-being. Research shows that 74% of parents with kids under 18 say they’re too busy to enjoy life. Another 11% of Americans believe their hectic lifestyle damages their health. The price of this constant motion goes way beyond feeling tired – it changes how your brain works and affects your life quality.
How busy culture affects your mental health
Modern culture has made being busy a status symbol, treating constant activity as something to be proud of. This non-stop lifestyle creates several mental health problems:
- Chronic stress and burnout – Too much work stress raises your chances of getting anxiety disorders and depression. It leaves you emotionally, physically, and mentally drained
- Sleep disruption – About 66% of workers say job stress keeps them from sleeping well. Poor sleep makes it harder to handle stress
- Relationship strain – Job stress hurts personal relationships for 76% of employees
- Emotional numbing – People stay busy to avoid dealing with uncomfortable feelings or deeper issues
Research also shows that working too much raises your risk of heart disease and stroke. Toxic busy culture creates an unhealthy obsession with getting things done, no matter the cost to your physical and mental health.
The myth of multitasking
Your brain can’t handle multiple thinking tasks at once, despite what many people believe. What seems like multitasking is really quick switching between different activities. This constant switching comes at a high mental cost.
People take longer to finish tasks and make more mistakes when they switch between activities instead of focusing on one thing. Stanford University research shows that frequent multitaskers develop worrying mental issues – they can’t filter out distractions, manage memory, or stay focused.
The biggest issue is that 93% of people think they’re better at multitasking than others. We don’t realize how much our work suffers when we try to juggle multiple tasks.
When productivity becomes counterproductive
Our always-connected world often makes productivity backfire. Quality matters more than quantity – better thinking, better policies, better art.
Making productivity the main goal instead of meaningful work creates several problems:
Productivity tools and systems can waste time – spending an hour setting up to-do lists uses up valuable time without real work getting done. Tasks that feel productive like answering emails or using productivity apps are often different from what creates lasting value.
Working too much reduces creativity and innovation – the exact qualities today’s economy needs most. A schedule packed with efficiency-focused tasks leaves no room for imagination, strategic thinking, or new ideas.
The answer isn’t to give up on productivity but to think about it differently. Instead of counting completed tasks, focus on the minimalist list of things that match your core values. The Better Things Show philosophy suggests that doing less with more attention brings better things to your life and work.
Recognizing What Actually Matters
Breaking free from the busy trap starts when you realize not everything on your to-do list deserves your attention. Your path to a more meaningful life begins by defining what deserves your time and energy. Research shows people struggle with this basic question – most don’t spend enough time on what matters to them.
Identifying your core values
Core values are the principles that give your life meaning and help you push through tough times. They act as the main filter for every decision you make. To find your authentic values:
Make a list of what’s most important: Look at the parts of life that matter most to you. These might include family, personal growth, health, career fulfillment, making a difference, creativity, or adventure.
Compare with your current reality: Make a second list of where you spend your time and attention. Rank these activities to see which gets the most focus. Then compare the two lists – most people’s lists look quite different.
Ask yourself revealing questions:
- How do you want to be remembered by friends and family?
- What were you created for? What’s your mission or passion?
- Who do you admire and why? What qualities could you make your own?
- At the end of your days, how will you know you’ve lived well?
Clarifying what matters needs time to think deeply. Focusing on what truly matters can feel scary – sometimes it’s easier to disconnect and just react to what’s happening around us. Your life’s alignment with your values takes courage and dedication.
Quality experiences vs. quantity of activities
The debate between quality and quantity goes beyond material possessions into how you spend your precious time. Today’s generation works toward a mindset where quality stands as the best option for balance and overall happiness.
The quantity trap: Society teaches us to value quantity over quality. This explains why you might feel pushed to squeeze in many activities, even when they don’t fit your core values. The busy illusion hurts your well-being and doesn’t help you achieve more.
Quality’s hidden benefits: When you put meaningful experiences first, you:
- Experience deeper satisfaction and contentment
- Form stronger connections with others
- Reduce stress and burnout
- Create more lasting memories
Think about whether you’d prefer spending limited time with your partner after work every day when you’re both tired or dedicating an entire weekend day to quality time together. The same goes for relationships – would you rather have many casual acquaintances or a few deep, supportive friendships?
You ended up finding that what matters isn’t about cutting out activities entirely – it’s about making intentional choices. Living on purpose starts with clarity. Without knowing what matters most, your days can fill up with things that drain your energy or pull you away from your true priorities.
Throughout the Better Things show, this philosophy comes to life – finding meaning in everyday moments rather than chasing the next activity. This minimalist approach to your life’s “things” isn’t about giving up; it’s about finding fulfillment through purposeful choices.
Lessons from the Better Things Show About Slowing Down
The FX series Better Things gives us a great way to get insights into how slowing down can revolutionize your daily life. Previous sections showed how busy culture affects us negatively. Now, let’s tuck into practical lessons from this thoughtful show about living more intentionally.
Finding meaning in everyday moments
Better Things shows us Sam, a central character who connects a diverse network of family and friends. She proves how everyday interactions become meaningful when we pay attention and stay present. Sam creates a home where people “can all comfortably meet,” showing us how ordinary moments matter when we’re fully there.
Science backs this up – finding purpose in daily experiences helps our health, longevity, and resilience. Our lives are made up of small moments that add up, not just big events. Meaning often sits right in front of us if we slow down enough to see it.
The show beautifully reveals how meaning comes from simple actions like:
- Sharing meals around the dinner table
- Having real talks with family
- Making room for genuine expression
Embracing imperfection
Better Things teaches us something freeing – accepting imperfections brings freedom. Characters deal with rocky relationships, parenting mishaps, and work setbacks, yet they find beauty in these struggles.
Chasing perfection leads to disappointment. This truth hurts at first, but we learn that trying to be perfect stops us from living fully. The show proves that embracing our flaws leads to real connections and personal growth.
Being imperfect makes us human and relatable. When we see things as “perfectly imperfect,” our mistakes turn into chances to grow.
The power of authentic connections
Through five seasons, Better Things shows how slowing down creates room for real relationships. Sam’s interactions teach us something true about modern life: genuine connections matter more than lots of shallow ones.
Real connections boost your mood, help you handle emotions, and make life better overall. Research tells us that loneliness hurts us more than obesity or smoking.
Characters in the show take time to listen and check in with each other. Sam values her connections “by showing up for them and creating a home where they can all comfortably meet”. These real interactions help her handle life’s challenges.
Choosing fewer meaningful connections over many surface-level ones creates space for interactions that feed your soul and support you – a simple approach to relationships that brings better things.
Creating Your Minimalist List of Things
A minimalist list of things needs your strict focus on what truly matters. Your schedule gets busier each day, so you must separate activities that add real worth from those that just keep you occupied. The goal isn’t doing more – it’s doing better things that match your core values.
Essential questions to ask before adding to your schedule
Take a moment to ask these key questions before saying “yes” to new commitments:
- How will this affect my key goals?
- Does this match what I value most?
- Who really benefits from this?
- Should I skip this completely?
- Could we call these tasks “obligations” or “distractions” instead?
These questions serve as filters to help you decide if new activities deserve your time. Studies show that people who check their commitments against their values feel more satisfied and less stressed.
The 80/20 principle for maximum impact
The Pareto Principle, also called the 80/20 rule, gives you a solid framework for your minimalist list. This rule states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. Your main goal becomes finding this crucial 20%.
You should spend at least 20% of your time on high-impact actions that match your values. Studies show that companies boost their output when they use the 80/20 rule to focus on key tasks that bring the biggest results.
This makes your path clear: find the few activities that give you the best returns, then cut back or remove everything else.
Designing a values-based to-do list
A true minimalist list shows your deeper priorities, not just tasks. Pick your five core values first – they might be family, health, creativity, growth, and contribution. Then group your current tasks into these categories.
You’ll quickly see which values get attention and which don’t. This clear picture helps you make better choices about your time. It shows where you’re doing too much of less important things.
Your traditional to-do list can become a values-based system. Just ask: “Which tasks will matter most today?” This question focuses on quality over quantity. It makes sure your limited time serves your key priorities – similar to what the better things show teaches.
Note that minimalism isn’t about doing nothing – it creates room for what truly counts. Even small changes toward a schedule that matches your values can make your daily life better.
Practical Steps to Break Free from Busy Culture
You’ve identified what truly matters, and now it’s time for action. These practical strategies will help you escape the busy culture trap. They create space for better things in your life.
Becoming skilled at saying no
Your time and energy need protection through effective ways of saying no and setting healthier boundaries. Each request deserves evaluation against your core values. Something that doesn’t line up with your values deserves a “no.” A clear and respectful refusal works best. Brief explanations help without giving details that could change your mind.
Suggesting alternatives that don’t compromise your priorities proves especially effective. Relationships stay intact while your schedule remains protected. Note that saying “no” to one thing means saying “yes” to something that lines up better with your values.
Setting healthy boundaries with technology
Specific tech-free zones and times make sense during meals or before bedtime. This approach promotes meaningful connections and better sleep. Built-in tools like Screen Time (iOS) or Digital Wellbeing (Android) help monitor usage and manage screen time limits.
A complete digital detox resets your relationship with technology – even a few hours make a difference. New habits take time, so patience with yourself matters during this process.
Finding better words for things that fill your time
The way you talk about activities creates awareness of their true value:
- “Time suck” — meetings or activities that drain energy without proportional value
- “Idling” or “lollygagging” — activities that merely pass time
- “Fill time” — tasks that exist primarily to avoid focusing on what matters
This change in vocabulary helps identify which activities deserve space in your minimalist list of things.
Building in recovery periods
Peak performance needs rest – it’s not just a break from productivity. Short-term recovery after intense work sessions and long-term recovery through regular days off prevent burnout.
Active recovery through light physical activity that promotes blood flow works well when alternated with passive recovery through complete rest. These intentional pauses—much like those seen in The Better Things Show—serve as necessities for sustainable performance and well-being.
FAQs
Q1. How can I break free from the busy culture?
To break free from a busy culture, focus on your core priorities and learn to say “no” to tasks that don’t align with your primary goals. Start by identifying your most important responsibilities and values, then allocate your time and energy accordingly. It’s also crucial to set boundaries, both with others and with technology, to create space for meaningful activities and relationships.
Q2. What are some practical ways to stop feeling constantly busy?
To stop feeling constantly busy, prioritize meaningful activities over those that simply fill time. Practice mindfulness to stay present in the moment, and schedule regular breaks or “recovery periods” throughout your day. Set boundaries with technology by designating tech-free zones or times. Remember that your self-worth isn’t determined by how busy you are, and make time for activities that truly matter to you.
Q3. How does embracing imperfection help in breaking free from a busy culture?
Embracing imperfection can be liberating as it relieves the pressure to constantly strive for unattainable standards. By accepting that mistakes and flaws are part of life, you create space for authentic connections and personal growth. This mindset shift allows you to focus on what truly matters rather than getting caught up in the pursuit of perfection, which often leads to unnecessary busyness.
Q4. What role does the 80/20 principle play in managing busyness?
The 80/20 principle, or Pareto Principle, suggests that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. In managing busyness, this principle encourages you to identify and focus on the few high-impact activities that yield the greatest returns in your life. By concentrating on this crucial 20%, you can significantly increase your productivity while reducing time spent on less important tasks.
Q5. How can reframing the language we use about our activities help reduce busyness?
Reframing the language we use to describe our activities can create awareness about their true value. For example, calling certain activities “time sucks” or “fill time” helps identify which tasks are merely keeping us busy without adding real value. This vocabulary shift assists in recognizing activities that deserve a place in our schedule and those that can be eliminated, leading to a more intentional and less cluttered lifestyle.
In Conclusion…
Stepping away from the culture of constant busyness may feel uncomfortable at first — but it opens the door to better things. You’ve already seen that focusing on meaningful work aligned with your values leads to deeper fulfillment and better results.
Minimalism doesn’t mean doing less just for the sake of it — it means doing what matters most. When you manage your time and energy with intention, you create room for real connection, personal growth, and experiences that actually bring you joy.
This journey isn’t about perfection. Even The Better Things Show reminds us that life’s most beautiful moments often come from imperfection, presence, and authenticity. You can start small — by saying no to one unnecessary commitment or carving out tech-free time each day.
The more you let go of distractions, the more you’ll find space for better things — meaningful relationships, purposeful work, and a life that reflects what truly matters to you. Every small, intentional choice today brings you closer to a more balanced, fulfilling life.
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